Dear beautiful souls,
This weekend is one to mark down in my journal, for yesterday was the official day my son, my first-born moved out of home. Left the nest, so to speak. As any passionate parent may understand, it is a huge event in one's life journey, as much as giving birth, getting married, or unmarried, my child's 1st birthday, 18th birthday and 21st birthday.
Even more so when my children have always been my good friends as well, and share laughter and tears, ups and downs, and healthy connections.
Whenever one of my children leave home for a holiday, there is always a 'hole' for they are so much a piece of me, but in a peaceful way I also send them away with love and protective blessings as I embrace and welcome with them, their journey of growing and exploration into their own world. "You're the first one to leave the nest..." I said to my son this week, happy to share the excitement of his new venture. "But we've all been away and traveled lots before mum..." he replied. "Yes but you're the first one to take your bed with you!" I added.
This kind of milestone in my children's lives always heightens the reality of how quick, brief and transient our lives are. I always get a flashback of the span of their lives from then till now, and how that was almost just like a blink of an eye.
Let us always realize and remember that being a parent is a gift, a gift of one of the greatest services in a lifetime. In the past when I have had moments of "Oh I would love to be like a Mother Theresa, to be able to give my life up in service, by helping to feed the hungry and destitute of the world" or "Oh I would like to achieve incredible feats like summit Mt Everest." Then Life would always bring me to my knees with the profound realization that, I am already living one of the greatest services, as a parent, in bringing up 3 beautiful human beings, to be in a position to mold them and evolve together with them as souls.
Our true purpose in this life journey is to evolve as a soul. This short span of physical existence is most significant but just a blink. Our children are a gift to us as much as we are to them. Sometimes they are more evolved souls than we are, as such we are here to mutually learn from each other. Sure, as a parent we have the responsibilities to help equip them with knowledge to survive and function in this world, but as soul parents, are we also bringing them up through our heart center? where they too learn to love not just others but themselves unconditionally, where they become human beings that connect, have joy, passion, wisdom and the ability to give. Or are we just parenting frantically in keeping up with the Jones', to bring them up so they can meet those school grades like everyone else, get that supposed prestigious jobs like everyone else, have a home with the picket fence and the two and the half children, like everyone else. Do we parent from the wholeness of our hearts or from the limitations of our heads?
Children learn from what we are and what we do, not from what we say and teach. If we want respect, we have to show them respect. If we want love, we have to love them. Do we connect with them on a soul level, or do we know how to? I have personally found that as I have grown and changed in the course of my life journey, my children have grown and changed magically on their own accord too, it seemed less effort. Abuse of our children does not just mean the obvious physical and sexual abuse that we all deplore, but abuse also sneaks in with the guise of unconscious parenting, if we parent without unconditional love. For our role as a parent is to unconditionally love. For it is in doing so that our children can remain in their core of unconditional love, for themselves, which then grows and branches out into love for others, and the ability to thrive in their world.
Unconditional love means to love them for who they are, to take time to nurture their beauty and to guide them through their pains; to make the efforts to say those special words "I love you" "I'm sorry" and mean it. To know when to let go and allow them the freedom to explore and to learn from their own mistakes, to be there without expectations, judgements and demands, to know when to reach out and when to give them space. Parenting is the hardest task one can ever undertake, it is a continuous dynamic balancing act. That is why it can only be done most effectively and is most rewarding when we ourselves do so from our heart center, our center of connection with our higher source of wisdom.
So treasure your children. And realize that those exhausting sleepless nights, challenging toilet training, tiring school runs and sports events, teenage hormones, worrying late nights, and ups and downs of life are very brief windows for you to connect, help shape and grow with your child's soul. For before long, that window will be gone, and your gift and privilege will be gone. As parents we form their family base and roots for establishing in this physical life and world. As with any plant, without its foundational roots, there will be no ability to grow, let alone flourish, bloom, flower and bear fruits. They will take with them into the big world whatever has been molded into those formative years. Let us treasure this privilege and honor our role.
Here's a great video I shared recently, a powerful reminder for us parents, to stay conscious that "Our children learn most from what we are and do, not from what we say, teach or expect.
Love, Light and Blessings to you,
Patsie xo
Would love you to connect with me on my fb page www.facebook.com/AwakenOurSpiritWithin and coming very soon on www.spiritpond.com
Patsie Smith is a spiritual author of the book Awaken Our Spirit Within avail on all online bookstores or through www.patsiesmith.com. She is a spiritual guide and speaker, bodyworker and energy healing facilitator, meditation and yoga teacher. She lives in Perth, Australia.
